Enjoy getting to know, Robert Enders:
Thank you for joining me today. Tell us in three words how you would best describe your writing.
Entertaining, fast paced.
Your book, A Long Way From Tipperary, was released in May, 2017. Share a passage that you’d like for us to enjoy.
“Yesterday, on the twelfth day of the seventh month of Year 206 of the New Universal Calendar, Onyx Station was attacked and severely damaged by Azul space forces. I hereby call upon the Galactic Legislature to declare that a state of war exists between the New Magellanic Cloud and the Azul Starclan. We will fight in the intergalactic expanse, we shall fight in extrademensional space, we shall defend our home galaxy whatever the price might be, we shall fight in the nebulae, in the asteroid fields, and in the vast interstellar void. We shall fight in orbit, in atmosphere, and on the surface of every world where the enemy can be found. I have been speaking directly with President Helgrane and Commissar DeRocha about forming a coalition to defeat the forces of tyranny and genocide.”
You’ve been presented with the opportunity to be a best-selling author, but can never write again, or write forever, but never have a bestseller. Which scenario sounds more tempting?
The first option sounds like death, like I died and then suddenly people decided to buy my books. I want to continue writing for the rest of my life.
If you could live on a college campus and never leave, or live in a small town but be able to travel, which one would you choose?
I actively avoid college campuses. I actually live in a small town, and I am able to travel.
Okay, how about in an amusement park or in an airport?
I have no use for amusement parks. All that waiting in line, overpriced crappy food, and the gross bathrooms. I′m too goddamn old to be excited by rollercoasters.
And how about Australia or Scotland?
I′ve never been to either place. Australia sounds more interesting.
Who is your favorite 90’s band (I’m thinking Counting Crows, Blink 182, Hootie & the Blowfish)?
10,000 Maniacs. But that′s not actually what I listened to back then. I was more into Offspring and Green Day during the 90′s. I got into 10,000 Maniacs in 2004.
Are there any good bands out there today that we’ll talk about in 50 years?
In 50 years, ″Katy Perry or Taylor Swift?″ and ″Adele or Meghan Trainor?″ will be common questions in author interviews. But if you are asking about bands and not solo acts, I think Imagine Dragons has the potential to be the band that college kids in 2067 will pretend to like. I only like a couple of their songs, but I think they will get better over time. There are other bands that I like better, but Imagine Dragons is what I think people will still talk about.
And what about your favorite comedy on TV (My favorite is still The Office)?
Family Guy. It′s not because I look like Seth MacFarlane. It′s the only show on network TV that can make me laugh. It very hard to make me laugh. People will try to tell me jokes and I will just stare at them.
Is there anything you’re currently working on?
″Unauthorized Reading Material″ It′s a novel about private security.
Who is your favorite author and if you could ask him/her one question, what would it be?
John Scalzi. Ii I could ask him one question, I would ask ″Will you plug my book?″
Ocean or mountains? Mountains strike me as safer.
Yogurt or ice cream? Ice cream. Yogurt is gross.
M&M’s or Skittles? I usually favor chocolate. Sometimes I might get Skittles.
Jimmy Fallon or Stephen Colbert? Stephen Colbert. I think you have to be drunk to find Fallon funny.
Happy or sad ending to a novel? Happy ending. If I′m going on a long journey, I want to go someplace nice.
Beer or wine? I don′t drink.
Flying or driving? I′ve been flying a couple times and I enjoyed it very much. The TSA has made it an unbearable hassle to fly now. Pre-9/11: flying. Post 9/11: driving.
Hemingway or Twain? Neither. Stienbeck.
You’re stranded on a desert island and you can take two things with you, as well as two people. What and who are you bringing?
Katy Perry, Taylor Swift, a mud wrestling ring, and a video camera.
You’re able to sit down with any leader in world history. Who would you choose, what would you talk about, and would you rather have him/her over to your house or meet at their place of royalty?
Cleopatra. We would talk about her turn-ons and turn-offs. She would come to my house when my girlfriend wasn′t home because I have AC.
You can wish for one thing and one thing only, not world peace and no more wishes. What’s it gonna be?
Immortality. It means even more time to write.